i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
