I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
