Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need a beard to bite.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
