I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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