Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
