its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
