Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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