I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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