all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
