her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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