we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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