Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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