There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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