do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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