we're blogging at a bar
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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