I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize