I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
