I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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