He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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