I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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