question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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