Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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