It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize