What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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