I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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