If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
