Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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