I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
