On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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