My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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