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When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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