Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
