Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
