how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
