I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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