I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
