i just had sex bonerless
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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