a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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