Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
