Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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