don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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