Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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