mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize