I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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