I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
