I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize