i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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