then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
