he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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