Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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