wanna go halves on a baby?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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