I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
