at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
