That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
