The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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