sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You're like the curious george of whores
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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