so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
