Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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