Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
