when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His hands were made for my vagina.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
