We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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