Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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