do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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