I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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