WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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